For Heaven's Sake! Marilyn's Musings

2010-07-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

LET FREEDOM RING!

“You’re not the boss of me!” Can’t you just see it? A sturdy, intense three year old, fists firmly planted on hips, defiant face thrust forward, delivering a personal declaration of independence. Cute, isn’t it? Perhaps cuter at 3, than at 13 or 23 or … oh, you get the picture.

As we celebrate this Fourth of July, thanking God for freedoms we enjoy as Americans, it is a perfect opportunity to reflect on the freedom we know in Jesus Christ and to wonder about how that freedom lives in our families.

Jesus teaches us so much about freedom. In Martin Luther’s words, Jesus has “freed us from sin, death and the power of the devil,” offering us eternal and abundant life as a free gift. It is nothing we can earn or deserve. We have freedom from having to earn God’s love and approval; God already lavishes that love on us, with no strings attached. That’s grace! So, God’s love, God’s gifts aren’t about a “got to.”

But now, what do we “get to” do in loving response? What is this freedom for? It is not freedom, as license to be greedy or cruel or thoughtless or self-centered. 1 Peter 2:16 says it this way, “As servants of God, live as free people, yet do not use your freedom as a pretext for evil.” It is freedom to live as a child of God. It is freedom to love and serve God by loving and serving God’s family, to love one another as we have been loved.

So, how does freedom look in families? Children of all ages need a balance between boundaries that keep them safe and space to explore. Children need opportunities to
• Discover their world
• Explore their gifts, talents and preferences, and discover who they are uniquely created to be
• Make choices, to help them learn to make good decisions
• Fail, experience consequences, and learn to recover from mistakes
• Have time alone, balanced with time with others
• Know that they are loved, just as they are.

So, this month, celebrate freedom as a Christian family, to become all that God has created you to be.

FAMILY ACTIVITIES

• At a family dinner, provide a supply of tea light candles and a box of matches. As a family, name the freedoms we enjoy, lighting a candle for each one named. Close with prayer, thanking God for those freedoms.
• Read the paper together, identifying examples of the freedoms people enjoy and the lack of freedom others experience. Wonder out loud together what we as a family can do to insure continuation of the freedoms we enjoy and to bring freedom to others.
• Celebrate new freedoms for your family members, like learning to cross the street alone, receiving a driver’s license, getting a cast off a broken leg that now is healed, retirement, and so many more.
• Read the Amnesty International website at http://www.amnestyusa.org/ to find opportunities to be informed and to act on behalf of others who do not have freedom to live a safe life with opportunities. Choose one thing you will do together.

2010-05-26T05:57:00.000-07:00

Hands that Serve

Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.

Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at

home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you

rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand...

Deuteronomy 6:6-8a

I do understand “Keep these words ... in your heart. Recite them ... talk about them.” Keeping them in my heart is easier than reciting and talking about them, but I am learning to do that, too. But, what did the writer of Deuteronomy mean, “Bind them as a sign on your hand”?

Look at your hands. Palms up. Palms down. Palms up again. Look at the photo of the hands of five generations of women above. Men, this is for you, too. What do you see? Manicured or ragged cuticles? Soft and smooth or callused and rough? Young and rounded or old, wrinkled, and gnarled?

These are ... or are invited to be ... the hands of Jesus, the hands that bear the Good News into all the world. These are the hands that serve others, hold and comfort, feed, heal, redirect, carry one another’s burdens, bear the words and the Word into all the world. These are the hands that leave Jesus’ fingerprints all over the children of God ... of all ages.

Whose hands left Jesus’ fingerprints on you? How did they do that? Sometimes, these are the “likely suspects”: Sunday school teachers and pastors, confirmation mentors and Bible study teachers, parents or spouse. Sometimes, they are the ones who don’t fit that profile. It might have been a grandparent with a fourth grade education, a gruff football coach, the girl who invited you as a new student to sit with her friends in the cafeteria the first day of school, the teacher who believed in you and pushed you beyond what you thought you could accomplish, or the custodian who found you crying in the hall and just sat with you.

Now, look at your hands again. What is God calling you to do with those capable hands? Begin now.

Congregational Coaching ... Practicing Presence

2010-04-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

Today, a cherished friend and I discussed the joy I take in coaching congregations. He inquired about whether or not I could put my congregational coaching into an online curriculum. It was a great question. It would be efficient and convenient for those who want to access it and for me, as I could develop it when I had time and was available. So many experiences that once were experienced live and in person are now delivered online.

But then, I reflected on a coaching call I had this morning ... and my answer to a one-size-fits-all coaching curriculum was, “No!”

The call began promptly at our appointed hour. Both pastors were ready and waiting. I always begin with prayer, followed by their recitation of what we have to celebrate in the past month, as well as the challenges they have faced. Then, we tackle our topic or topics of the day. I was prepared to embark on our scheduled topic, my upcoming visit to the congregation.

Before we had a chance to pray, one pastor’s response to my casual, “How are you today?” was a tentative, “Okay. At least, it is better than yesterday!” And we were off. It didn’t require fine-tuned intuition to know that all was not well.

Yesterday an older man in the congregation took offense at a worship skit, done by the youth, illustrating God’s call to Moses, despite his speech impediment, to go to Pharaoh and demand release of God’s people. He believed that the youth were making fun of those who stutter, a challenge he has known in his life. He blew up at the senior pastor, who sided with the youth, from whom he had heard no disrespect. The older man was not satisfied. He lashed out, posting something unflattering both to the youth and senior pastor on his Facebook page ... for all to see. Then, he turned to the pastor I was coaching, who offered to meet him tomorrow for further conversation and to begin the healing process. But today, I was talking to a very unsettled pastor.

Then, I prayed, inviting God’s healing, reconciling presence into tomorrow’s conversation and God’s discerning in our conversation, that we might be faithful to what God is up to with this wonderful congregation.

I affirmed this kind and compassionate pastor for his willingness to listen to the man’s pain, to help him link his story with Moses in God’s story, and to wonder with him about how God might use his pain, transformed as ministry to others.

Then, we could tackle the rest of our coaching tasks.

In a quick evaluation of our time together, both pastors highlighted that they really needed to talk through what had happened, hear what they had done well, and create a plan for how to move forward. They emerged with confidence that they handled the situation well and can move forward, ministering to all in the congregation.

I am grateful that God, in Jesus Christ, practiced being fully present with God’s people. Coaching, tailored to each congregation and to today’s needs, is a powerful way for us to be disciples of Jesus, also practicing real presence.

I’d love to hear your wisdom on how we can best accompany one another in ministry.